Date: May 11th, 2022
Content Warning: This episode contains discussions around sexuality including our body parts and sexual acts. We do use gendered language in this discussion and acknowledge that not all birthing people identify as female. If you listen to your podcasts with young kids in the room you can decide if you want to put headphones in or listen another time.
Today we’re going to talk about postpartum sexuality with our guest soon to be Dr. Benée Justice! Benée is a clinical mental health therapist with a PhD in clinical sexology. Benée recently defended her dissertation on Postpartum Sexuality and created an incredible curriculum for use by mental health therapists to address postpartum sexuality. In today’s episode we discuss the changes in our body postpartum, fears and concerns that might come up because of these changes, how shame and guilt can impact us when we are experiencing low desire and trying to determine our readiness for sexual activity postpartum. And then Benée shares with us how we can explore our sexuality in the postpartum period and some very important things such as communicating with your partner and consent.
5:09 – Postpartum Sexuality as a sacred topic, grounding into this topic
7:42 – Sex in the Postpartum
11:07 – Layers of sexuality
12:07 – Why does sexual health get pushed aside?
14:16 – Our fears around resuming sex after birth
14:45 – Our bodies have changed postpartum, concerns around body image postpartum
16:55 – Physiological healing
18:46 – 6 week check-up, discussing sex with our health care providers
20:27 – Lack of desire for sex
22:55 – Being disconnected from our bodies, relearning our bodies
28:53 – Can moms be sexy?
33:49 – Determining our readiness for sex postpartum
39:08 – Resuming sexual activity and defining sex
45:35 – Consent
47:10 – “It is our partner’s responsibility to take ownership of their sexual needs being fulfilled”, masturbation
47:50 – Communication
49:38 – Let’s talk about orgasm
52:04 – Ideas for communication and ideas for intimacy
57:22 – Shutting down intimacy because of fear of intercourse
58:45 – Consent in an intimate relationship
1:03:00 – Benée’s suggestions for communicating wants and needs
1:08:26 – Different supports such as a sex therapist
1:10:08 – Gaps in services for postpartum sexuality
1:18:15 – Our sexual health is intertwined with our overall health, 6 week “green light”
1:19:22 – Resources that Benée recommends
You can contact Benée at firstname.lastname@example.org
Books that Benée and Christine recommend:
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.
Becoming Cliterate by Laurie Mintz, Ph.D.
Better Sex Through Mindfulness by Lori A. Brotto, Ph.D.
The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor
The Body is Not an Apology Workbook by Sonya Renee Taylor
AASECT directory looking for Sex Therapists